Wah....~

It's been 4th day since I'm here at Ipoh...
OK, the condition here was so cold...
I can't believe it, MY HOME WAS COLD...
Hakhak...

Early morning, I wake up...
I have mission to do....
Guess what?Yes! Spaghetti...Tara...~

My Bf already asked me..when will I cook?
Without inform him first, I just make a bodo-bodo spaghetti...
Sorry dear...I don't have enough budget...I'm getting broke...
Ok...Continue with the spaghetti bodo-bodo...

Semalam...me and my mom went to Giant...
We decide to make spaghetti but we just wanted it simple as we can...
So we're entering the Giant, and juz buy Spaghetti and PREGGO TRADISIONAL AND HOTDOG...
Morning, my mom asked... "Nak wat macam mana nie?"
I'm just answer... "Ala rinceh bwg...Masok sos PREGGO...masok air...masok sos tomato...masok sosej...masok lada...garam,gula...Cukup r..."

Hasilnya.....Tara...~

Ok...I have to admit...Its not so colourful like I was always did..
But, everyone like it and it finish...
Well2...I'm quite good in cooking ryte?Hakhak...
We just move up k?

Today I'm quite bz...I was met with my old schoolmate..
They all looks nice and getting prettier...
One of my friend, Hanis are married today..
Suddenly I'M felt that I'm already ready for a new changes...
But maybe it's to early prediction, and it's gonna be a huge hope...
For my future.....~

Thank You Dear....~

Cute large box ryte?
Thank You dear...
Really appreciate it!!!

Hujan...~

Hari ini hujan kot satu hari...So aktiviti yang menarik...
Tidur larh...Pe lagi...
Chris...So sorry...
Tomorrow I will study your subject...
OK?

Pencerobohan.

Hai, i am her boyfriend..
Tapi macam tak best je nak cakap..
Ye larh... kan dia tak percaya saya..
Hehehe..
Ape nak buat...

Saye pon tak kesah..
Hidup dia kan memang macam tu..
Kalau tak nak.. Saye pergi la..
Tak susah..

Hai awok, sori menceroboh..
Lain kali log off dulu.. Hohoho..

Tengah minum air teh ni..
Tiup-tiup buih kena kat keyboard..

Hmm.. Bosan la...
Bila nak abeh sem....
Eh, mcm blog aku pulak.. Hehe..
Babai.

Ntah Larh.....~

My life is unstable right now...
Felt empty...Sad...Killing someone...
Just wanted to run...
Just to have a good time...
Just once ....
Can you show me that you love me with you heart?
Nah...Maybe It's too impossible....

ABAH....~

Abah...
Jangan la buat along rasa guilty...
Suddenly called me and asked whether I am OK and can answer the exam or not...
I felt guilty because didn't work hard..
But when you ask...I will say that I can do it...
Abah...Sorry along taknak abah riso....

L.O.V.E Is Ugly...~

Well....It's sounds cruel right?
But hey...Let's face it...It could be true....
When you have someone that you love...But suddenly he/she would turn you down....
When you are giving your hardest...You are still not the one for him...
When you smile and happy with him...Who knows that he felt the same way too...
When you had trust him...Maybe he is not the one for you and he had already someone else..
Maybe when you wanted someone else back, he just have already gave up on you..
When you open up and want to try it again... Maybe you are no good enough and he makes his friends his first priority...
Well...Face it...Because it was once of experiences in life...

Lost.....~

Perasaan?Kosong...Kepala? Zero...
tak tahu larh sekarang nie apa...
Yang penting....
I'm totally lost...
Thanks to you....

Argh...Argh...~

Mati larh...
Janji nak study sama-sama...Bincang apa yang dah faham...
Tapi tak baca lagi...
Dahlah nak dekat pukul 11...
Huhuhuhu....

Blame me....~

Wah...
Although I'm just reading you in Malay...
I still can't understand u....
How hard to be you...
INTERNATIONAL LAW......

Mak kata...~

"Haih....Dia marah lagi...
Kali nie tak nak cakap dengan aku lagi.... Hmm...."

Entah kali ke berapa dah aku ngan dia gaduh...It's actually nothing change...Entah lar...Hati mmg keji kot...Kalo mengadu dengan mak...Mak akan ckp "Tu larh hang...Buat pasal dengan dia awat?Dulu dia jaga hang susah-susah, hang dok kawal dia awat?"

Kadang-kadang aku selalu fikir yang aku teralu possesive,....I'm always trying my best to cool down my feeling..To make me understand him more...But still...Is it wrong if I'm always careful and curious about him?Hey why not...Nobody's know that I'm with him...So there will be a huge possibility that someone else who might taken him away...We will never know, what will happen right?You know...When you have a look, you are kind, maybe your friend might like you?Dear don't deny it...As usual you are too kind with your friend til you don't alert about it....Shh...It's just between me and you....

Entah larh...Mungkin aku yang terlalu fikir yang buruk-buruk...Ye larh aku da down...Sangat...Banyak kali da kna herdik...Tapi tak paham bahasa jugak..Pedih kadang-kadang ayat dia..Hati terdetik...Hati menangis tapi tak boleh menangis kan?Mengada-ngada je kan?Nanti menyampah je dia dengan aku...Hmm, aku da tak tahu macam man nak buat baik...Eh silap, bukan buat baik...Aku kena jadi baik...TAPI...

"Aku xjga hati ko kan?Ko je fikir aku macam tue...Padahal aku nak cakap apa pun pasal kawan aku, aku kena fikir banyak kali...
Dulu, aku dengan AINI, boleh cerita apa-apa happy je....Tak ada masalah pun...."

Dah de perbandingan pon...Nak wat macam mana?...Salah sendiri...Needs my time to gain back my strength...Really hope i will be with him for more time...But i dunno...Maybe it's not that easy...Banyak yang aku kena analisis.....Banyak yang aku kena nilai...Banyak yang aku kena ingat balik...Kalau dia terseksa..Aku tak boleh penting diri kan?

Maafkanlah ku tak bisa hidup tanpa kamu
Fahamilah ku tak mampu terus tanpa kamu
Bagaimana ku nanti
Bila tiada mengganti
Yang ku ada hanya kamu saja
(Hanyut - Faizal Tahir)

Bila termenung, mula hati goyah...Bila senyum...Hati tabah...Aku tak salah kan dia sebab banyak kekurangan datang dari diri aku...Banyak lagi kesedihan yang aku bawa dalam hubungan ini...Aku happy dengan diri aku, dia dan family aku...Aku selalu harap aku akan selalu senyum....
Dan bahagia sentiasa...Aku pun kena bukakan hati dan mata aku dan terima seadanya....

Mak pesan....."Kalo dia nak cari orang lain, biar je la...Dia bukan laki hang pon..."

"Perasaanku yang terlanjur sudah
tersimpan dalam hatiku
tak begitu saja dapat terhapuskan
meski kau dengan mudahnya
dapat pengganti diriku
bisakah kau menghargai sedikit perasaanku
tak terhitung hari kau tak sendiri lagi..."
(Wanita yang Mencintaimu - Merpati Band)

Life Must Goes On..............~

Need my life to make me straight heading to my path...
But sometimes i already lost my confidence with you...
Did I make any mistakes again by believing you...
Or I'm just a stupid girl that hope for something that it wasn't mine...
Yeah...Life must goes on...
But now...
I really don't know..
How to react on it?
Should I fight for it?
Or should I juz give up...
Maybe I need to became a really good person.....

Mak....~

Sedeynya...
Sampai tak tahu nak tulis apa......

Hujan.........`

"Ayang, ayang tgk kat luar....
Berapa banyak titisan hujan kat luar tue...
Banyak tu lah rindu owang kat ayang..."

Hari ini...23 September...Hujan lebat sangat-sangat kat luar....Tapi hati nie dah tak berbunga-bunga macam first time baca message tue....Melihat hujan menyebabkan hati kecil ini lebih sayu....Kerana itu semuanya DULU.....Sekarang semuanya KOSONG....~

Sekarang hati kena kuat...Hati kena sabar...Tak ada lagi istilah sayang....Tak ada lagi kata manis...Tak ada lagi senyuman ikhlas...Takpela itu lebih baik dari dia terus berpaling bukan?

Banyak yang dah dikongsi...Banyak juga yang dah di pendam....Mungkin nanti semuanya akan gelap dan kita takkan lagi bersama....Tapi kita kena kuatkan?Bak katamu...Perpisahan bukan sesuatu yang buruk...Kita bebas mencari yang terbaik untuk diri kita....Life must go on....

Takpe la...Tak perlu terlalu berharap kepada yang bukan milik kita...Yang hatinya bukan pada kita...Yang tidak terima kita seadanya...Takpe la...Selagi hati ini, ada sayang...Aku akan cuba meneutralkan kembali...Tapi perlu diingat...Aku adalah manusia biasa yang ada perasaan terguris...Selagi jodoh kita kuat...Aku akan cuba berikan sehabis baik...Untuk Kebahagiaan Kamu....

What Happen Between Us?

There are deeply silent when we met.....
There are just an empty eyes when we are eating....
Is there are a problem between us that I never know...
Is there any satisfactions between us?
Or I'm just too blind...
That I can't even see that we not being K.I.T.A anymore......

S.M.I.L.E.....~

Finally I met him yesterday...
Although it's didn't seems to went well...
But still...
I'm happy to see him.....

Hmm...~

Now...Its already 5.30 a.m...
I can't sleep.....
I'm juz......
I miss HIM a lot....~

C.I.N.T.A....~

Sometimes its hard to understand it...
Sometimes we felt difficult in this simple relationship...
Sometimes we felt lost in it...
Sometimes we are begging too much from it...
And sometimes.....we felt like we already gave up on this relationship....
But...Still...
We will wait until there are HAPPINESS in it....

:)....~

Salam...
Hari nie...Da masuk 2 tahun 1 hari kita kapel awak...
Saya ingat awak pernah cakap....Hubungan ini mungkin tak sampai ke 2 tahun...
Alhamdulillah...Kita dah lepas ke skala tu kan?
Awak...Saya happy sangat dengan awak...Walaupun banyak dah kita gaduhkan...Walaupun dah banyak saya jeleskan...Tapi saya tahu hati saya hanya untuk awak....
Terima Kasih untuk segalanya...Terima kasih kerana masih benarkan saya untuk berdiri di sisi awak...Terima kasih kerana biarkan senyuman terus mekar di bibir saya...
Terima kasih kerana terima saya seadanya..
Dan terima kasih kerana tidak ernah mengeluh atas kekurangan, kejahilan dan kebodohan saya...
Saya beruntung kerana diberi peluang dan masa untuk bersama awak...
Saya doakan jodoh kita panjang..
Semoga awak sentiasa bahagia...
Orang yang sebaik awak...Deserve yang terbaik untuk hidup awak...
Dan saya doakan dan harapkan saya adalah sebahagian daripada itu..
Amin...~

Warh.....~

Today...8 September 2010...After 22nd years of living in this wonderful life....

I'm finally taking a very peak of my life which is....
Dum...Dum...Dum....

Making a kueh raya....Taraa~

Ok...I know its not actually something that anak dara sunti should be proud of....
Well, kamon...
A primary students also had already master it...
But, I had to admit...This is a really new things for me...Hikhik...

Ok...1st...I start it with my simple kueh...
Kueh Cornflakes Madu...
Well...Its a simple kueh...Really easy to make...
But when I nak pergi bakar....
The Result?
O.M.G....Hakhak...Hangit kot..Mak kata bcoz oven panas sangat...
Never mind...Try to still focus...
This is the result....


Ok...Next...Kueh Buah Pinggang....
I really really do like this biscuits....
Awal pagi dah berkobar blend kan semua yang kena blend...
But I termissed 1 thing...
Guess what?Cornflakes...
My mom, boleh pulak marah-marah...Yela...Nanti dia kata biskut tak sedap....
Then, ktowg yang bijak pandai nie pon...Lupa nak beli acuan...
So kami menggunakan cara yang mudah dengan menggunakan apa saja yang terlintas....Rasa dia dah mantap...Rupanya...Oopss...Sangat tak menepati namanya...
Yang penting rasa Cornflakes sudah...Hikhik...

Finally....Nescafe Biscuits...
Much easier then Kueh Buah Pinggang and its yummy too...
Trust me...For those who already addicted to nescafe, aroma nescafe menyebabkan perut berkeroncong...Siyes...Tarak tipu punya...Hikhik...
Senang nak buat kueh nie...Until ktowg decided buat 2 adunan....Hikhik...
Tapi seperti yang telah dinyatakan...
Ktowg tak ada acuan...So hodoh sikit la bentuk kueh nescafe tue...Hihi....



Fuiihhh....Finally I dah habis buat 3 jenis kueh...
OK, its actually quite a small number...
But I do think its ok for those who never celebrate raya..Hikhik...
Itupun dah penat macam orang pergi berkebun...
Walaupun nampak hodoh...Tapi I still proud of myself because I know now I manage to do something by my own...Hikhik


P/s: Mari-mari beli...Satu Balang RM 20 .....:)

My Dear....~

Dear...
Sometimes you don't always get what you want...
Because you want it from someone that doesn't want to give you what you want...
You need someone and then he did not want you...
Its ok to just runaway?
Its ok just to leave it everything behind?
Mak pesan...Jangan lepaskan dia...Dia dah banyak jaga hang.....
Truly from my heart...I'm always hope that I am his part of his life...
But I don't think I manage to get that spot...
You know...
When you felt that you had already given your best...
And there are no other support or help from the other party...
You will felt empty...
Ryte??

Suka Hati Larh....~

Wah..Not really in a good mood...
But perhaps I just keep quiet and everything would be fine...
Tak payah nak marah-marah...
Tak payah nak emo-emo...
Macam la tak biasa kena tunggu sorang-sorang...
Macam la tak biasa kena ikut kepala otak dia je...
Macam la tak biasa kalo dia buat decision sendiri without asking you first...
Ala...Relax laa.....
Kan da cakap nak try jadi kuat...
Pedulikan semua tue...
Kalo dia tak boleh jaga hati Xiera...Just ignore it...Buat muka tak ada perasaan...K?

Alorh....Gigi Kuning....~

Hukhuk.... Salah mak la nie....
napa tak bagitahu dahulu bahawasanya ubat gigi ini menyebabkan gigi kuning??? Alaa....satu eset dah hilang.... Macam mana nak senyum comey-comey da nie???

It's Just Me.....~

Berat gila beg laptop...
Ke hulur ke hilir dah macam kura-kura...
Last-last masuk lab jugak...
Next time baik balik je...Takpelah...
Macam biasa.....Apa yang di harap kan dah tak dapat...
Ingatkan boleh buat kerja sama-sama...
But now....
Just shut up...
You don't have the right to say anything...
Shhh...Keep that in your mind,Xiera....
Now, better you focus on the assignment...
Sakit hati macam mana pun bukan assignbment boleh siap sendiri kan?

H.A.T.E I.T......~

Ok...Fine...I'm a possessive type of gf...
So...Do you need to make me felt angry right now?
You have already online fb for 24 hours...
And now you need to on Fb msg...
Den everytime I call and msg...You dun rep and the unlogic reason you gave me...
Mana ada awak call?Tak dapat pun....
What is this?
Oh Yeah...I'm so sorry...
I'm forgetting my place...Again...
You are tooo bz with your own world...
Blame me...I'm not understand you....
Just let you with your own world...
And you will satisfied with your life...
Whatever.........~

Buhsan....~

Boring...Boring....Boring....
Nothing much to say...
I'm actually getting bored of my life and his life...
Are we totally different and it makes everything seems so part away...
Why don't people just can be happy together without any problem and any curious about?
Hmmm....Maybe right now I need a good sleep......

Sunshining Day?No larh.....~

Wah-wah...Mentari tarak muncul lagi...
As usual I felt very very malas to wake up in the morning and menyiapkan diri tok pergi kelas...
It's so windy larh....Never mind hope today will be a best day....
But still today saja pose and now I think I'm very hungry already...
Smile!!!!You are strong enough....

Kesedihan Melanda....~

I don't know why...But today seems not right at all...I'm sleepy and now I'm feeling angry...Why is everything didn't go as I want?Ok...Maybe I am to demand...Maybe I am just thinking of myself...Ok....I dun know but my heart was hurt right now...It's bleeding.....

My sister...She's clash with her bf...Well, act I dun know whether they are couple or not...But still sangat melukakan hati apabila tahu yang mereka not together anymore...I'm trying to be cool...But sangat sis-sia...I'm crying in the bus while I am standing...!!!Ya Allah, kenapa hati aku yang tersentuh?Kenapa hati aku yang sakit dan sedih?

In Relationship..It's not easy as friendship...Once your friend hurt you, you will get the true friend...But if you lost your partner...it's not easy to get THE NEW THE ONE...OK, I know right now maybe I'm not rationable...But it's really heartbreaking to see a sweet relationship end just like that...

Believe me...Although your trying so hard to look cool but everyone know that you are not....Perhubungan yang dah bertahan untuk setahun sangat bernilai kerana setahun bukan masa yang sekejap...Banyak yang ditempuhi, kenapa tak boleh sabar????Kenapa nak buat keputusan terburu-buru?

OK...I'm not professional anymore...I'm not in the good mood...I am really sad...Maybe I should not bother...But I know it's your own right to make decision in your own life...Take care and I hope you will not regret it.....~

SleepyHead And EatingHead....~

Wake up in the morning...Feeling so sleepy...Haih...Tak nak pergi kelas...Tak nak pergi kelas...My class start at 9.30 a.m and now its already 8.40 and I'm still selubung with my selimut...Haiyaa...Malasnya....Xiera, Ingat mak abah kat rumah...Nanti mereka kecewa... Ok, from mak and abah...

I wake up lazily and go to the class....Smile Dear...You have to bring the best for your own life....Haiyaa...Seminar???Boring....Takpe2 demi menjaga nama siswa/siswi negara..I pay all my attention to this seminar...

I met my sis today...She's a little bit chubby now...Oh, Dear...You just enter here about 3 weeks and now your weight gain...You go girl...Don't try be like your comey sister...Hakhak...Having a chat and I ate for the first time today...The menu?Nasi la of course...


Den, going to class Sovereignty and Globalization...Haiyaa...So damn Sleepy...I can't open my eyes...I need to close my eyes...I da berangan-angan di katil....Den I ask my teman tapi mesra I nak balik den he said...JOM...Wihoo!!!!

Da sampai asrama...I tiba-tiba teringat my nasi tomato...Rumate makan waktu I tengah puasa now I dream of it...Next destination...Konfem la to gerai nasi tomato...But it's not as delicious as I imagine...Maybe actually I'm not that hungry but I gatal-gatal nak makan jugak...Haiyaa...

Boleh tak, tengah-tengah makan...I saw something that make me uncomfortable...Well...my perut already buncit...I think I'm getting buncit....Haih...Who's To Blame??

Of course la...ME,MYSELF AND I....~

First Day...~

Today...The air was silent...The place was cold ever..
It's just me or the place are really cold?
I look at his face...He didn't want to look at my face...
Yeah...I know I'm make you mad....And maybe you won't ever want to talk to me...
Ok...I'm the one to blame....

You know it's sad to know that we end up like this...
I know you can't forgot whatever that happen last night...
I swear, it's bad thing happen last night..And I hope we can be Ok...
Maybe it's just my dream and I hope you felt that too....

A Singing Sad Song......~

"Kata hati merayu aku pergi
Meninggalkan dirimu tapi ku tak terdaya
Mengapa kasih, harus ku alami?
Setelah aku korban segala-galanya
Sanggupku harungi hidup bersama dirimu
Meninggalkan semua yang aku cintai

Jika kau kekasih senangkanlah hidupku
Jangan biar aku begini
Hidupku dalam kerunsingan kasih
Jika kau kekasih yang menyayangi aku
Harus kau mengerti hatiku
Itu hanya apa yang ku impikan
Bilakah kau akan mengerti"

Ok..I'm not a perfect girl for you...I'm not the one that always pleased your...And I know you are really sweet...You always had your other life to back up you...And I know...You wanted the best for your life....Good Luck in everything....I pray for your happiness...You are always in my heart although maybe we are not meant to be....

I'm Losing Half Of Myself....~

Do you ever felt that you are not belong to that place?
Do you ever felt like there are no place that you can rely to?
Do you ever felt that you want to cry until there is no more tears in your eyes?
Do you ever felt that you are not who you are
And then suddenly all of your life seems to be dark??
Do you ever felt like your heart is empty although there are plenty of people?

Sometimes it's hard for me to do what that I should do...
Sometimes it's totally to hard for me to smile and pretend that is nothing that can hurt me... Sometimes...It's really hard for me to let it go...
Because I felt that I already lost him.............

Drama King...~

Ok2...Don't Judge a book with its cover...Ok...Tak sesuai...Let's olah it...Don't judge a man with his skins on...Hakhak...Don't ever think that a very very silent people will do nothing....Hakhak...

You such a sweet person Dear...Although you are trying so hard and you have to fake it...But still you are a really a sweet person....You have a lot of your friend and I know its not easy to entertain them...

Believe me...I'm always in your shoes...Walaupun kasut you size 9 and me only 5....Hakhak....
Jangan bagi orang lain sakit jantung...Danger tau...Walau apa-apa pun...Seriously lawak...
Mesti semua orang tak sabar-sabar nak attend your kenduri...Entah-entaha ada yang dah tempah baju...Kesian la de...

Never mind...Actually I'm a little bit concern about myself...Hati sudah goyah la Dear...Please don't try to do it again..I'm scared I wouldn't have the courage to handle it...Although I know it just a prank.....

Possesive???

Dr Badriya...Well...I think you know your student very very well...Hakhak...I miss you a lot..And then...tengah seronok sembang-sembang, Dr Badriya you gave me one title (perhaps)...that make me proud...Possesive?Well...Yeah...I am a bit possesive... It's a good thing for me right?...Yeah Yeah I know...It's not a good thing because we show how tidak bersihnya hatinya Xiera ini....Malu de...

Then...This my own dear fwend...Actually my teman tapi mesra...Just smile whenever Dr Badriya said anything about kejelesan...Well,Dear you should cover me...Not pretend to be so innocent until others know that I am da cemburu type...Keseganan melanda arinie...


I don't know why...I love my dear...But I do think if I trust my dear 100 % I will cry a lot afterward...I'm not gonna risk my life...Ok...I'm Exaggerate It...But I think its for myself....You know I'm a girl...Once I love someone I will give everything as long as I can give as much as I can to be a good lover...Wah, So jiwang de...

I need a lifesaver...Seorang Arjuna for myself...A wonderful person who understand me...I know I demand a lot....I know I'm always wanted the best but I'm not always be the best for you...You are a good person for me...And actually you good to everyone...Dats why la I so cemburu with you...

But Thanks so much dear...By standing straight when I da tergelincir...Sikit lagi nak jatuh...Hakhak...Malu lagi ini...Hikhik....

Guilty....~

Hate this feeling…
Am I the one to be blame?...
What’s wrong with me now???
Kenapa semua orang suka ikut kepala masing-masing?

Lalala~

Buhsan…Pagi-pagi lagi mood dah swing…
Jap…Ada orang keysah ke?Hakhak…
Maybe right now, I should search for a new hobby…
Hmm…interesting…
Trying my hardest to make my world become wonderful!!!

Starting A New Life.....

Hello There...
Well, here I am once again...
I am not totally a real me in this blog...
But I really hope that you will always be with me, Xiera...
To share everything...What I felt...What happen to me...
As long as you there...I will try to smile as much as I can...